We can love humanity, our country, our dog, money, a new set of clothes, our car, ourselves, our spouse, our children.I don’t know how attached my mother and stepfather felt to me.In a relationship of respect, your task is to understand the other person as a unique individual and learn how to mesh your needs with his or hers and help that person achieve what he or she wants to achieve.
was a term used rather exclusively as the valediction in friendly letters. The self-esteem movement, thank goodness, hadn’t yet begun; or, if it had, my parents didn’t know about it or didn’t approve of it.
It was awkward for me when I left home and entered a different culture, where people regularly hug and kiss at greetings and goodbyes whether or not they actually love one another. Praise—sometimes taken to be an expression of love—was likewise nearly absent in the family I grew up in.
Trust is important because if you don't trust someone then they are not available.
And usually you will know it very early on in any budding relationship.
They would have considered it unseemly to tell me or my siblings that we were wonderful, smart, or special, and even more unseemly to brag about us to others.
In fact, I think my mother had an intuitive understanding of the value of humility and the dangers of pride.I’m glad they weren’t so attached that they had difficulty letting me out of their sight.They certainly cared for me and seemed to enjoy my company. But what I felt most from my parents, for which I was and am most grateful, was .She paid no attention to the grades we got in school, seeing them as irrelevant to anything important in life.If I boasted about a grade, which I recall doing on one or two occasions, she would subtly put me in my place by asking me some question about the subject, a question that would make me realize how little I really understood.Trust is important because it is the basis around which all human relationships revolve. Having faith in a special person in your life is trust. For instance, when there is always someone there for you, like your mom or dad that is a natural trust.Love without respect is dangerous; it can crush the other person, sometimes literally.To respect is to understand that the other person is you, not an extension of you, not a reflection of you, not your toy, not your pet, not your product.I think this applies as much to parent-child relationships as to husband-wife relationships.Love brings bliss to both types of relationships, but only if tempered by respect.